Antihero: Memento Vitae
by Yeah Way
Summary: Inspired by "How Not To Play Persona 3". Trapped in a cycle of failure, Makoto Yuuki has no choice but to reject the Contract and the power of the Wild Card in order to obtain the power he needs to create a future of his own.
1. Chapter 1: Desperation Attempt

**A/N So, I thought of this when I saw a parody comic strip called 'How Not To Play Persona 3'. (Here's a link, art/How-Not-to-Play-Persona-3-167314327) It surprised me when I found that this hadn't been done before, though I admit it will be quite difficult and I can only hope this turns out well. That said, it'll be very helpful to get input from all of you, so please review and don't be afraid of letting me know what you think I should do or what you think I've done wrong and I won't hesitate to go back and fix it to the best of my ability. With that, I'll get to the actual story, 'Antihero.'**

Chapter 1

How long had he been here? At this stage, Makoto would estimate at around a thousand years. The figure didn't come from any legitimate calculations; it was just what it felt like. He had once regretted not keeping count from the start, but by now he probably didn't want to know the real answer even if knowing would make no difference. He knew there was nothing he could do now, he knew he'd long gone past the point of no return and he was fine with that… wasn't he? No, he didn't want this; why would he want this? He had every right to be unhappy with this fate. If he could go back he'd… What would he do? Would he really do anything different, and risk the lives of everyone he knew? But could he really do the same all over again? Now that he truly understood what would happen to him, the horrors to which he'd be subjected, could he seriously accept such torture willingly? He'd have to, he once thought; doing otherwise would just mean dying anyway. But perhaps dying was better than this. What if the fall really was a good thing? What did Makoto know about the world when he'd saved it? Nothing, and now he'll never know. He'll never be sure if what he did was the right thing, if his friends really were happy, if his sacrifice was worth it…

These thoughts only made his situation worse. He was going insane. All the pointless 'What If's were his only escape from the prison of his own 'body'. If he lost concentration on his thoughts for even a split second, he'd feel the never-ending attacks of Erebus on him again. The only choice he ever had and would ever have to make for perhaps eternity was whether he wanted physical pain or emotional pain. Every now and then, he would have enough of one and switch to the other, being driven more and more insane as time moved on. Maybe he was already insane, or was on the brink of insanity. If it'd offer a reprieve from this hell, he'd gladly welcome it. He'd do anything just to get out… get out! GET OUT!

He couldn't take it anymore! He'd had enough! He wanted OUT! Why!? Why him!? Why did those damn shadows have to do this!? Why did that fucking Kirijo bastard have to start all this!? Why the hell did Aigis have to put death into HIM 10 years ago!? Or a thousand years ago!? However fucking long it'd been, he didn't fucking care he just wanted it to STOP!

"Oh? How badly?" he heard from nowhere.

So this was it; he really HAD gone insane. He was right about the pain stopping. If only madness had claimed him sooner.

"You're not insane," the voice told him.

Oh yes he was. No one could talk to him here; no one had ever talked to him here. He couldn't see nor hear, only feel, and the only thing he ever felt was Erebus' fist.

"Maybe if you try opening your eyes?" the voice suggested, starting to sound fed up.

Eyes? He couldn't open his eyes; he didn't have any! He was nothing but stone: an inanimate object holding a door closed…

He opened his eyes…

He had eyes! He had a body! He looked all over himself, taking in every centimetre of himself, seeing, touching and smelling. He wanted to enjoy every second of this hallucination, praying for it not to end.

"Ahem," the voice cleared its throat, having been completely forgotten by the distracted and delighted Makoto.

Makoto looked up, finally realising that he wasn't alone. He appeared to be floating: an experience to which he'd grown accustomed. Before him floated… something. It looked humanoid, only it had bat-like wings and was lacking a face. It also wore a gold crown atop its head, which was featureless except for a ring of spikes which seemed to be holding the crown up.

"Finally have your attention, I see," it remarked, sounding much more pleased now, "Allow me to introduce myself: my name is Nyarlathotep, and I've come to grant your wish."

…Lies. There was no escape; Makoto was doomed to remain here. He could NOT be saved.

"Oh, but you can, boy," it informed, "It would be rather simple to let you free, in fact." It sounded like it was having fun.

Makoto remained still. He couldn't accept this: his existence as the seal had become all that he knew. He had to stay there! It was important! Otherwise…

Why was he here? To stop Erebus from reaching Nyx! How could he forget that!? What was happening?

"Hmmhmm, unsure of the situation? Let me remind you," it chuckled.

Without warning, it all came back to him. The beating, the pounding, the clawing, no!

"Take me back!" Makoto screamed, suddenly back in front of the black bat-thing.

"Ah, so we've found our voice? Perhaps now you're ready to negotiate an agreement?" it asked.

"Yes," Makoto answered, panting. He hadn't felt air rushing into his lungs in such a long time, even that was incredible.

"As I said before, I am here to grant your wish to be set free," it reminded, "You are unhappy with what has become of your fate and want to change it, am I right?"

"Yes," he answered immediately.

The being, Nyarlathotep, laughed, "Excellent! Now, let us discuss the terms of our arrangement…"

That was long ago. Fifty-six years ago, from Makoto's perspective. For it had been his fifty-sixth failed attempt at improving the past. Once again, he transformed into the Great Seal and once again, he was immediately brought before Nyarlathotep in the empty nowhere that was their meeting place.

"Remind me what you tried that time?" Nyarlathotep enquired, referring to Makoto's plan for that cycle.

"Tried to find that thing you keep telling me about," Makoto responded, referring to what Nyarlathotep had called 'The only way' amongst other things, "As you can see, I didn't find it…" he muttered bitterly.

"Indeed," Nyarlathotep chuckled. "It's still so amusing watching you obsess over it like you did at the start. You're even more dedicated now that you've started to grow tired of your friends," he pointed out, laughing cruelly. Makoto was used to that cruelty; he had to endure it every time he failed.

"If it weren't for your damn rules making it so repetitive, I wouldn't be," Makoto informed, glaring at his 'saviour'. "Anyway, I think we've already had this exact conversation a couple of tries ago. Can we move on?"

"So quick to lose interest, yet so scared to let things go. I do wonder why you mortals are like that," Nyarlathotep teased. "So tell me, Makoto, what entertainment have you planned for me next?" he asked, excitement in his voice.

"I don't know," Makoto told him. He had said this before, but eventually, Nyarlathotep would send him back anyway, and being sent without a plan was always an even more horrible experience.

"Oh come now, there are plenty of things you haven't tried yet!" Nyarlathotep scolded playfully.

"Like what?"

"Now now, what's rule #20?"

"You can't help me between cycles," Makoto replied right away. He knew the contract he'd signed with Nyarlathotep backwards by now. He'd spent an immeasurable amount of time negotiating it with him, making absolutely sure that there was nothing of which he wasn't aware or with which he was unwilling to agree. That didn't mean there was a single part of it that he liked… "But that's the god-damn problem! I can't work with these rules, Nyarlathotep! I can't think of anything else that won't break them!"

"You can. You've been saying you can't for a long time and you always come up with something. Now come on, think," he ordered.

"I've thought and I've thought, but nothing's worked! Rule #2: I have to kill all twelve arcana shadows! Rule #5: Anything other than preventing the fall myself will terminate the contract and restore everything back to how it was before signing it! Those two on their own are enough to make everything the exact same fucking thing every time! I can't do it anymore! I can't do anything without risking losing it all and… and…" he stopped, not bothering to finish the sentence and instead focusing on thinking.

"Perhaps it's time to do so? To risk complete failure."

"Shut up, you're not allowed help me," Makoto snapped.

"It's merely a suggestion. I don't consider that helping and it's my contract, so-"

"It's OUR contract and I consider it helping, so shut up," he barked.

"Very well," he conceded, sounding highly-amused.

Makoto sighed and muttered "One thing…"

"What's that?"

"There's one thing I haven't tried, but…"

"Yes?" Nyarlathotep encouraged, starting to get very excited.

"If it doesn't work, I know it'll be my last shot," Makoto told him, sounding miserable.

"Go on, tell me. I'm dying to know!"

"What if I do it all on my own?" Makoto proposed.

"Meaning?"

"It'd change everything. No contract, no velvet room, no social links."

"Now THAT'S different!" Nyarlathotep praised, laughing heartily. "And why, pray tell, would that work?" he asked with great intrigue.

"There's no reason other than the fact that that I haven't tried it yet," Makoto said, sounding more confident.

"This is why I chose you, boy! This is what I came for! Very well!" Nyarlathotep started, rising up above Makoto, hands aglow, "Do you understand the rules of the contract?" he recited as he did every time he sent Makoto back to the past.

"Yes," Makoto answered, with more feeling than he had in a long time. Wind had started to pick up and swirl around them, energy flowing towards Nyarlathotep.

"Do you understand the penalty for breaking these rules?"

"Yes." Immediate restart, with two warnings for minor offences.

"Are you ready to begin?"

"Yes."

"One more thing…" Nyarlathotep called: something that hadn't happened before. He looked at Makoto for a few seconds. Had he a face, Makoto was sure it'd be smiling. "Do you choose this fate of your own free will?"

Makoto knew what Nyarlathotep was doing: he was psyching him up. He was just as excited about this as he was, so he answered readily. "NO!"

"That's what I like to hear! Go forth, Makoto! Prove destiny wrong and show the gods what you can really do!" Nyarlathotep roared before firing a beam at Makoto's feet. As the portal opened, Makoto felt he had to say one more thing.

"Nyarlathotep!" he called, feeling the familiar sensation of disintegrating from the feet up.

"What is it boy?"

Makoto smiled a somewhat sad smile at the demon. One way of the other, this would like be the last time they meet. "Thank you, for everything…"

"The next stop is Iwatodai, Iwatodai." The dull voice of the intercom was the first thing of which Makoto became aware after coming back. Now that he was here again, Makoto's mood already dropped to a staggering low. But unlike the last few times, he was filled with determination, motivation, something that told him to keep going and see this thing through rather than let it keep him down until it ended, and shortly began again.

He quickly moved his hand to turn off his mp3 player, which was blasting out the sounds of 'Burn My Dread.' The beat came to a sudden halt and Minato took off his earphones, quietly muttering "I fucking hate that song."

The train stopped at the station and Makoto moved quickly to get out. He walked with a rather grim face, thinking of nothing other than what he was about to do and the consequences that would follow. 'It must be done,' he told himself. He was sick of this repetition, so sick it had driven him to something completely irrational and doomed to fail. But that was what he'd thought when going up to fight Nyx for the first time: that it was stupid and hopeless. And just like back then, he spat in the face of that fear and pushed on.

He reached the dorm, now well into the dark hour, and opened the door, immediately walking towards the counter where Pharos, as always, sat waiting for him.

"You're late," Pharos told him, like always. Nothing Pharos said was registered by Makoto until he produced the contract and placed it in front of him.

This was it, the moment of truth. Makoto flicked open the contract, holding the pen in his right hand and read it just one last time before he would give the middle finger to Pharos, Igor, Elizabeth and fate itself.

Makoto placed the pen down on the signature line, understandably hesitant to follow through with it, before clenching his teeth and scraping the pen hard down the page.

"Huh?" Pharos reacted.

Makoto grasped the page and tore it out of the small cover before ripping it to shreds and tossing the fragments behind.

"No! W-what have you done!?" Pharos yelled at him.

"What I should have done a long, long time ago," Makoto replied with pure venom in every syllable, "I'll make my own future this time."

Pharos stood there, agasp, before fading into shadow as the dark hour drew to a close.

**A/N So there you have it, the first of hopefully many chapters in what will be a very different telling of Persona 3's story. Please tell me what you think! I NEED reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2: A Good, Horrible Start

**Chapter 2: A Good, Horrible Start**

"Who's there!?" Makoto heard from his right.

'So it begins…' he thought sarcastically, turning to face the panicking Yukari. She was panting quite heavily and likely sweating, though it was hard to tell; the lights were always left off when he first arrived for some reason. Makoto watched her with a cold, calm stare, knowing full-well that nothing would happen to him.

Yukari reached for her gun. "Takeba, wait!" shouted Mitsuru from behind her. The lights suddenly switched on, making it much easier to see the two. Yukari was looking very relieved whilst Mitsuru kept a plain expression.

The two walked up to Makoto; Yukari was the first to speak up. "Who's he?"

"A transfer student, it was a last-"

"Yeah, sorry to interrupt, but could one of you tell me where my room is?" he butted in, not interested in something through which he'd already gone many times. The two looked a bit surprised at his interjection. "I'm so tired, I thought I saw these weird things all over the street and everything looked darker than usual," he explained, hoping to speed things along and establish his being able to experience the dark hour.

"Oh… very well. Yukari, could you show him?" Mitsuru asked, quickly regaining her composure.

"Uh sure, yeah," she responded, walking over to the area behind the counter and fetching a key before leading Makoto upstairs. They reached the door at the end of the hall and Yukari handed Makoto his key. "Here it is, pretty easy to remember since it's at the end of the hall."

"Yeah. Well, night," Makoto curtly spoke before entering his room and quickly shutting the door behind him.

Yukari stood still for a moment, staring at the door he'd just closed for a moment with her mouth open before eventually walking away, looking behind her. 'That was kinda rude…'

Makoto leaned back on his door, listening to Yukari's footsteps as she walked away until he no longer could. He breathed a heavy sigh and walked to his bed. He fell onto it, not bothering to change or pull the blanket over him, and just closed his eyes. It was time to think about this…

Morning arrived far too soon for him. He'd been up far too long for his own good, yet couldn't fall asleep now, even though he was trying as hard as he could. He heard a knock on his door.

"Hey it's me, are you awake?" she asked. Makoto noted that she usually would say 'It's Yukari', but they hadn't even exchanged names last night, which was a good thing.

Makoto decided to ignore her and stay in his bed. "Hey, come on. Mitsuru told me to get you; you'll be late.

"I'm not ready," he moaned, face buried in his pillow.

"Well will you be ready soon?"

"No. Go on without me, I can get there myself," he told her. She said nothing back right away.

Just as Makoto was falling out of consciousness, she spoke up again, "Fine, not my fault if you get in trouble," she warned, with an irritated tone.

Makoto relaxed as he listened to the sound of her retreating footsteps once more and fell asleep.

He was late. He stood in the train, only now putting on his blazer, with a piece of toast in his mouth, thankful that there weren't any other passenger on-board the car in which he was travelling. A few minutes later, the train reached its destination and Makoto took off to the school. There was fortunately an assembly that morning; if he could get there not too long after it ended, he could make an excuse and get away with it. If not, he'd have to pull the 'got lost' card and hope she didn't know that he was born here.

He reached his classroom and caught his breath before opening the door and walking in. Class had already started and Ms Toriumi seemed to have already written a fair amount on the board. 'I suppose I got lost, then.'

Ms Toriumi turned towards him; "Oh, are you the transfer student?" she asked, getting the attention of the whole class, who pointed their heads at the door.

"Yes," Makoto answered, formally.

"Why are you so late?"

"I sort of got lost," he lied, acting embarrassed.

She looked at him for a while, but seemed to buy it. "Okay, well I guess you can sit… there, behind Yukari-chan," she said, pointing to the empty desk he always got.

He walked to the desk and sat down, ignoring the look Yukari was giving him. After the distraction, Ms Toriumi picked right back up from whence she started.

Makoto was quick to let his head collapse onto his desk.

After the bell rang, Makoto got up from his seat, mentally preparing himself for-

"Suuuup dude?"

-Junpei.

"Hi," he said back before walking right past him.

"Uh, hey," Junpei called to him before he got too far away.

Makoto completely ignored him, walking right out of the classroom when another person tried to stop him. "Hey," Yukari called for his attention in the hall, catching up to him and walking with him, "Listen, about last night, it's important that you don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Alright," he simply replied and then headed into the boys bathroom, where she couldn't follow him.

Once again, Yukari found herself staring at a door after he'd vanished. "This guy…" she muttered in frustration before striding off in a huff.

Finally alone, Makoto decided to take a stroll and collect his still-scattered thoughts. Leaving the school, he knew exactly where he wanted to go.

He was now sitting on the edge of a pier, looking down on the deep-blue water as it swished around the posts holding the floor up. He liked coming here; he'd never been here before his deal with Nyarlathotep. That was why he liked it: it was somewhere different, somewhere that didn't remind him of any event that took place on that year, somewhere that didn't have any memories -good or bad- attached to it. That was the kind of place where he wanted to be. He'd already decided long ago that when this was over, he'd move somewhere far, far away from Port Island. Exactly where didn't matter to him, as long as it wasn't here.

Taking in a big gulp of air, he closed his eyes and retreated to his mind, blocking all outside stimuli just like he did when he was the Great Seal. That didn't seem like a long time ago at all: how could it when every year since then had been the same one? Too long had Makoto been stuck; he was determined to see the fourth of March. He would live to that day and much longer; he had to.

All he needed was to find 'The Way'. Nyarlathotep, during the negotiations, had told Makoto of something hidden that he could find if he did things right and that would give him the ability to stop Nyx without sacrifice. His wording, as well as several other hints he'd given, had convinced Makoto that 'The Way' was some kind of power that wasn't the wild card nor the universe arcana.

If it could stop Nyx and they couldn't, then obviously it was much more powerful. The only thing Makoto had to do was figure out how to get it. He'd first tried to find it in his world, researching occult stories extensively, and whilst that had given him plenty of ideas as to what the power might be, it didn't help him find out how to obtain it.

Next, he'd tried to find it in the dark hour. He'd made several attempts to communicate with the shadows, which had yielded no results. He'd then thought it might involve the reaper, and so had confronted it many times, nothing of importance happening. He'd then tried to find clues from the arcana shadows, which had been just as useless.

Having nowhere left, he'd tried to find it in the velvet room. The velvet room was a mystery to him: Igor always said that the velvet room didn't exist in reality, yet it and its residents seemed to reset along with the rest of the world. It didn't make sense: Nyarlathotep, who also resided outside the universe, was obviously unaffected by his own resetting of time, so why were Igor and Margaret? It didn't add up, but Rule #1 prevented him from telling anyone that he was from the future, so he couldn't ask about it without making himself obvious. For now, he would have to assume they knew what was going on. He'd likely never find out now, anyway.

All of this -and many other failed attempts- had led him to where he was now. This was his only theory left: that either the power of the wild card, or the contract, or both were somehow getting in his way. It didn't make perfect sense, but it was possible. Because of that, he thought that by not signing the contract and not growing his powers, he might finally be able to do it. Every time he went back, he was left with just Orpheus -And technically Thanatos, due to Death's presence in his soul-. To get the other personae back, he would have to unlock, earn and fuse them with the power of his social links, therefore, forming no social links meant having no other personae.

Makoto believed this would work: he had to. He had nothing else to believe in, other than the existence of a future for him. That was the goal for which he was striving: a life that had nothing to do with any of this. Nothing from 2007, or the start of 2008; everything would be brand new, including himself. What would the past Makoto think of his future self? Would he call him selfish? That was quite likely, and perhaps he was, but he was fine with that. Saving everyone else wasn't enough for him: he wanted to save himself too.

Makoto arrived quite late to the dorm. Mitsuru was the only one in the lounge when he arrived; she didn't seem bothered by how long he'd been, simply giving him a "Welcome back" before returning to her reading.

Makoto appreciated this and walked up to his room without a word.

Later that night, Akihiko, who'd come in even later than Makoto stood up from the couch after having quickly finished a cup ramen.

"I'm going out for a bit," he told Mitsuru, who was still sat there.

"Hm?" Misturu responded, her mind having been taken out of her book.

"Haven't you read the newspaper?" he asked, "There's a lot going on."

"I know… people with no prior symptoms are suddenly developing acute cases of apathy syndrome... It's been in the news quite a lot lately," she said sadly. "They're saying it's due to stress but…"

"Heh, yeah right. It has to be them, otherwise it's not worth my time," he boasted with a smirk.

"Are you sure you'll be alright on your own?" she asked concernedly, "I'm sure it'll be alright if I…"

"Don't worry, I'm just getting some practice in," he said to help her relax. It had the opposite effect.

Without another word, Akihiko strolled confidently out of the dorm.

Mitsuru sighed, "You have to take this more seriously, Akihiko… please."

School once again served no purpose other than allowing Makoto some extra sleep. By now, he could afford to pay no attention in class for the whole year without getting lower than an A grade. Beside him, Junpei was struggling with a question Ms Toriumi had asked him. In desperation, he looked at Makoto, silently pleading for help.

"Eleven," Makoto muttered before turning his head, resting on his arms, away from him.

"Eleven!" Junpei answered confidently, eliciting a very angry scolding from the teacher, who had asked him who her favourite author was. The whole class laughed, whilst Junpei glared at the back of Makoto's head. Yukari wasn't pleased either.

Makoto hurried out of the room as soon as the bell rang. Junpei watched him rush out. 'Asshole running away after a stunt like that.'

Makoto wanted to get the next part of the day over with quickly, and so was fast in returning to the dorm. When he entered, he was greeted by a tall, long-haired, bespectacled man whom he knew all-too-well, Ikutsuki.

"Why hello!" he exclaimed a bit excitedly. Already, Makoto had had enough of this man. He'd had enough of him more than fifty years ago, yet was forced to do nothing but wait for his inevitable betrayal and do whatever he wanted to ensure the bastard's death: let himself get captured like the first time, pull a heroic rescue, kill Ikutsuki, et cetera.

"My name is Shuji Ikutsuki; I'm the chairman of the board for your school." Makoto took deep breaths and thought happy thoughts of places far away as he restrained himself. "'Ikutsuki', heh, hard to say, isn't it?" He went on and on as Makoto got more and more frustrated before he finally got to the point of this conversation. "Is there anything you might be wondering about?"

"Not particularly," he quickly responded.

"Are you sure?" Ikutsuki asked, sounding surprised.

"Yes, sorry I have a lot of homework and studying to do, so I'll be off now," he muttered, already moving to the stairs.

Makoto, as gently as he could manage, slammed his door shut and let out a long breath he'd been holding in. Ikutsuki was very hard for him to tolerate: even more so than Ken and Shinjiro. Having taken a moment to calm himself, Makoto sat on his chair and let the rest of the day waste away until he felt fatigued enough to fall asleep.

Tonight was always the night on which Makoto, under the surveillance of Yukari, Mitsuru and Ikutsuki, would be brought to the velvet room in his dreams. Having no contract, the blue door stayed shut, out of his life; instead he was brought somewhere perhaps better, perhaps worse: the past.

"HAHAHA! HAAAAAAHAHAHA!" The roaring laughter was terrible, despicable and at this moment of confusion frightening. Makoto looked all around him, disoriented yet feeling a great depression deep down in his heart: he knew what had happened; he just didn't want to. "Surprised, boy?" asked the disgusting creature in front of him. Makoto remembered him well: he was the reason for all that had just happened, Nyarlathotep.

Makoto was unable to say anything at this time, allowing Nyarlathotep's taunts to attack him unimpeded. "You, you didn't think you'd actually succeed on the first try did you!?" he asked, holding back more horrid cackles.

About to speak now, Makoto was halted by another eruption of gleeful, yet painful laughter that would make even someone ignorant to what was so funny to him cry.

"Shut up!" Makoto finally shouted, having had enough of this.

"That's all you've got to say!? You're even more pathetic now than when I first saw you!" he jeered, letting loose a fresh burst of schadenfreude.

How could this have happened? How!? Makoto had gone back, he'd been **ready** for everything! He'd fixed so much and it all amounted to **nothing! **

"Send me back again! Now!" he ordered, tears flowing down his miserable face.

"So desperate to leave? We've only just been reunited; would you not like to stay a little longer?" Nyarlathotep teased in a mock sad tone.

"Send me back, send me back…" Makoto repeated, the demon's laughter picking back up again at his breakdown.

Those laughs echoed through his mind throughout the night…

Makoto spent the start of the following day with a miserable expression plastered onto his face. After school, he briskly strode to the pier, where he did nothing but stare at his own reflection in the sparkling-blue water.

To his dismay, he would have to return to reality eventually: he had a mission to be completed.

It was now eleven o'clock; Makoto had a job to do. He was waiting for Akihiko on a street near Iwatodai station; he'd figured out in a previous cycle that Akihiko would be jogging tonight. At ten past eleven, he saw Akihiko running towards him. He waited for Akihiko to notice him, then walked into an alley.

"Hey!" Akihiko called out to him. Mitsuru had told him that the new guy to their dorm could experience the dark hour, and he didn't want him to be walking around outside during that time on his own. He followed him to the alley, which led to the other side of the block, and saw it was empty. He ran to the other side and saw Makoto rounding a corner across the street. Like last time, he called him and was ignored. He ran after Makoto, but lost track of him.

After some searching, he found him again, much nearer by this time, ran up to him from behind and grabbed him by the shoulder.

Makoto jumped and quickly turned around, taking of an earphone, which Akihiko could hear playing very loudly.

Akihiko sighed, "What are you doing out here? It's way past curfew," Akihiko interrogated.

"I could ask you the same thing," Makoto said back to him.

Akihiko frowned, but knew he had no response. "Come on, we gotta get back to the dorm; I was just on my way back anyway," Akihiko told him, walking in the direction of the dorm with Makoto silently following.

It hadn't been much, but it would be enough to change events in his favour.

The two got back just before midnight. Makoto knew to go straight to bed, whilst Akihiko stayed downstairs and waited until he heard Makoto's door closing.

"God damn it, all that extra running got me tired. I guess I'll be a little more careful on patrol tonight…" he muttered to himself, before heading right back out of the dorm.

A few minutes later, Mitsuru, Yukari and Ikutsuki were watching Makoto with intrigue.

"You were right; he's still sleeping," the chairman pointed out excitedly, "Even those with the potential tend to be unstable at first."

"But, we're treating him like a guinea pig…" Yukari protested.

"I understand how you might feel, but it's important that we recruit new members. Besides, I was told he's in the same year as you; would you not feel more comfortable having someone else your age on the team?" asked Ikutsuki.

Yukari looked away, "Well, actually…" she started, but she decided not to finish.

After a short silence, the machine in front of them began to beep. Mitsuru pressed a button and spoke, "Is that you, Akihiko?"

"You guys aren't gonna believe this; this thing is huge!" Akihiko exclaimed hushedly.

"What is it, Akihiko?" enquired Ikutsuki, adopting a much more serious tone than usual.

"It's a shadow, but it's not like anything we've seen before! It's surrounded by the small ones too! I'm not sure if I should… Aw shit!" Suddenly, the speakers started blaring the staticky sound of air rushing past the microphone.

"Akihiko? Akihiko!"

"It knows I'm here!" he shouted, no longer keeping quiet, "It's chasing me! I gotta come back to the dorm; there's nowhere else safe!"

"He's bringing that thing here!?" Yukari screamed.

Mitsuru stood up swiftly. "Mr chairman!" she barked, facing Ikutsuki.

"Y-yes, get ready for battle! Prepare quickly!"

"How much time do we have, Akihiko? Are you far away?" Mitsuru said rapidly into the microphone.

"No, I'll be there in any second, just get ready!" he eventually responded, panting.

"Yukari, get something for the transfer and bring him out the back door, now!" she ordered. Yukari nodded and quickly started to run off. "Akihiko and I will hold them off at the front!" she informed her before Yukari made it out of the room.

Now alone, Mitsuru took a deep breath. "Mr chairman, please wait here in the command room! I'll wait for Akihiko outside the front entrance!"

"Right! Good luck, Mitsuru!"

Mitsuru then dashed out and down the stairs, grabbing her epee out of her room in a rush and running into and out of the lobby. She stopped just at the bottom of the stairs and waited eyes focused sharply on the horizon, beads of sweat dripping down her forehead as she clenched the grip of her weapon.

Yukari banged and pounded on Makoto's door having finally found the spare sword kept for emergencies, which had been oddly moved somewhere else. Having already wasted far too much time, she was not willing to wait for him to wake up. She tried to open the door again, but it was securely locked. "Open up! Come on wake up!" she shouted furiously through the door. Finally, Makoto opened it, painfully-slowly.

"Yes?" he said tiredly.

"We have to get out of here! Right now!" Yukari shouted angrily.

"Why? What's going-"

"Do I sound like I have time to explain!?" We need to go now!" she snapped, her voice getting more and more high-pitched, "Here, take this and come with me!" she ordered, pushing the sword into his chest.

Makoto grabbed it and followed her downstairs. Just as they reached the bottom, they heard what sounded like a car crash outside.

"Oh god, they're here! Quick quick, come on!" she beckoned, sprinting to the back door. Once they got there, Yukari grabbed the handle and flung the door open to be greeted by countless mayas swarming the back alley. She screamed and promptly reshut the door. Before she could panic, she heard a loud beeping from her pocket.

She answered it quickly. "Takeba, there are multiple shadows! The one we're fighting isn't the one Akihiko saw!" Mitsuru informed.

Yukari looked around her before resting her gaze on Makoto. "L-let's pull back! They're gonna make it in soon!" She led him back to the stairs. "What're we gonna do? They're getting in!"

"The roof? They couldn't get up there, right?" Makoto suggested. Yukari looked at him, running the idea through her head before nodding in agreement and sprinting up the stairs. The pair ran up the floors before finally reaching the door to the roof.

Opening it and stepping outside, Yukari was fast to shut the door and lock it behind them. "Phew… I think we're okay for now…" she said exhaustedly.

Then, they heard a noise behind them: a sickly squelching noise that got closer and closer to them. They looked behind them and saw the first hand reaching over the edge of the building.

"What!?" Yukari squealed.

Makoto felt it, that feeling he got every year: it was the feeling of something within his mind, something clawing at the inside of his skull, desperate to get out. Makoto shouted and fought back in his mind, resisting the feeling. Death snarled back at him, enraged by Makoto's rebellion. Makoto ignored Death's roars and forced all his will upon the shadow, pressing on it hard, back into the depths of his conscious.

The Magician had now climbed up onto the roof, letting of the first garu spell as Yukari struggled in vain with her evoker.

Death gave one last effort in escaping Makoto's chains, but was no match for his command.

The Magician threw one of its myriad blades at Yukari, making her fall to the floor and drop the evoker. Makoto was quick to pick it up, but hesitated. He stared at the evoker in his hands, fear beginning to well up in him. He had nothing right now; he was nothing like what he had been when this all started. There was nothing left of the person he'd once been.

What if nothing came out when he pulled the trigger? Death was suppressed and the wild card discarded. Makoto's mind wasn't what it had been when he'd first summoned Orpheus. In fact, Makoto could tell since soon after he ripped up the contract that Orpheus had left him, so what would happen?

Makoto suddenly became very aware of the shadow speeding towards him: he had to act fast but was terrified of what would happen if he did.

"Fear not…" he heard in his mind. It was a voice he'd not once heard before. "I have come to aid thee. With mine help and your will, you can obtain that which you desire."

Makoto wasted no time with this new presence in his mind. He raised his arm up and time seemed to slow. It slowed down to such a crawl that at first glance one would think it had stopped entirely.

"Is, is this really what you want?" he heard the voice of Pharos. He was looking up at him with a sorrowful expression.

"This is everything I want," Makoto resolutely answered. Pharos looked down to the ground, beginning to sob, and nodded once, before fading away; he retreated to the dregs of Makoto's psyche.

Time flowed back at normal pace and Makoto moved swiftly. Raising his arm higher up, he suddenly released the evoker into the air. It flew back over his shoulder and hit the ground. Makoto shaped his raised hand into that of a gun and pointed the 'barrel' at his temple. With now-predatory eyes, much sharper looking than those of any teenager should be, he glared at his opponent and said calmly, almost sarcastically "Persona."

A fierce, blinding pillar of brilliant light shot out of the floor below him, completely engulfing him and blowing back the arcana shadow. From it burst forth Makoto's new ally, his new weapon, 'the way'.

"From the dawn and dusk of time, I come to thee, who hath earnt the right to the future. Thou who art worthy of mine help, I am Janus, Harbinger of the New Beginning!" the being declared in a deafening volume; it's voice that of both a young and old man.

The light died down, revealing Janus's form. It was completely covered in a silver suit of armour, whose front gleamed with a fine polish and was decorated along all its edges with elegant gold patterns. The condition of the armour worsened and worsened with the shine dulling and scratches and dents appearing the further it was towards the back. The armour's most notable feature was the helmet, which had a round front with a visor with vertical slots through which to look, and another 'front' on the back, this one more pointed and having a visor with a single, horizontal slot. In Janus's right hand, he held a massive, golden broadsword longer than Makoto was tall, and in his left he held and equally over-sized, black rifle.

Floating just above Makoto, reaching heights of over six metres, he stared down his opponent, the Magician, which was finally recovering from its knockdown. Taking some time to untangle its viscous arms, it got up on all its palms, then pounced on the giant.

Janus readied his sword then smacked the Magician with its side, knocking it back to whence it had leapt. The Magician recovered much faster this time, then charged towards them, but Janus wasted no time in swiping across it with his colossal blade. Half the Magician's abominable body was cleanly sliced, but it wriggled with the same vigour and continued towards them. Janus lifted his great rifle up and opened fire on the abomination. The shadow flailed wildly until all its arms went limp after a lengthy barrage of high-calibre ammunition.

Janus allowed himself to fall to the ground and stomped over to the pile of arms. Finding the mask, he stomped down hard on it, releasing putrid fluids all over the roof, which soon after evaporated.

Yukari had watched all this unfold, and was completely speechless. She stared astonished at Makoto as he spectated the shadow's destruction with a slight smirk. Makoto, as Janus began to take out the horde of mayas that had followed the Magician up the building, turned to her and with a smile said "Looks like I'm finally moving forward again Yukari."

**A/N: Ah, glad to see this finally completed? As am I. You can expect even longer gaps between chapters on average, just to let you know. I know myself just how terribly frustrating that is, but that's just how it is, sorry. **

**I'd like to give my most sincere thanks to everyone who's read, favourite, followed and especially reviewed this story! After all, I wouldn't be writing it if it weren't for all of you! Speaking of which, could you all PLEASE give my other story, 'Persona: A New Tale' a read as well? I know OC stories aren't nearly as popular as this kind of rubbish, but it's by far my preferred work and will be getting much more attention from me as a writer even if it gets far less attention from you lot.**

**Now, regarding what you've just read. Let's start off with some mythology. Janus –the 'J' being pronounced like a 'Y'- is the roman god of beginnings, transitions, change and time, and is often depicted as an old man with two faces. With the plot of this story being what it is, he's just perfect as Makoto's new persona.**

**Speaking of Makoto, some of you are oddly fascinated by his name. One reason was really just that I wanted to be the first one to use it. But there is a much deeper meaning behind it. Hopefully by now, I've shown you all to at least some degree that Makoto has changed a lot since his days as the protagonist of the game. You'll see this change much more throughout the rest, and so I thought it would be a rather clever poetic device to use a name with which you weren't familiar. In short, if I'd called him Minato, you'd more strongly associate him with the guy about whom you're all used to reading. **

**One more thing, I just want to say that there are thousands of ways in which this story could go. Who knows, this might be the next 'Male protag and female protag in the same fic' gimmick. This I most certainly welcome, because I know my ideas won't please everyone. **

**After all that, I leave you with a final, short note: I'm releasing this without a final proofread, so any and all errors will eventually be purged by my OCD editing, as will this part of the Author's notes.**

**Thank you so much for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3: Planning for a Future

**A/N: I'm very happy to be giving you all another chapter of 'Antihero'! I hope you all enjoy and give me a review (Please)! Also, anyone who writes persona fanfics, take notes! This is how Early Modern English is done! It's not hard!**

**Chapter 3: Planning for a Future**

10/4/2009

"So, you ready to start giving an explanation?" Makoto sat on the bed in his room as a small, white, glowing orb drifted slowly around him.

From it, he heard a reply: "As I told thee when I came to thine aid, my name is Janus."

"Roman god of time and such, yeah but why are you here now? It's not that I'm ungrateful, but what did I do differently this time that made you come?"

"It is as thou suspectest: thou no longer hast the power of persona; thus, I have come."

Makoto's eyes widened in shock. "What are you talking about? Aren't you my persona now?"

Janus continued slowly orbiting Makoto, never showing any reaction to what Makoto said to him. "I am not a persona: I am what some persons would call a 'god'; others may call me a daemon. Thine abilities have surpassed those of thy friends."

That last word left a sour taste in Makoto's mouth; but he was more than capable of ignoring it, especially now, when there were much more pressing matters at hand. "Then, you're not in my head? You're real? How many things like you are there?"

"Many," Janus answered plainly; "Am I wrong in saying that thou hast encountered another like me before? And that thou art in a contract with them as thou art with me?"

"A contract? Is that how this works?" Makoto enquired, ignoring the first question.

"We are in an agreement whereby I am at thy service until thou no longer needest mine help."

Makoto took a moment to take all of this in and sort out the new information, before continuing his line of questioning. "I've one more question: why are you helping me?"

Janus's answer was calm, yet ominous: "What thou art trying to accomplish will affect much more than thine own life, Makoto Yuuki. I have foreseen this; and now that I am able, I will help thy cause will all my strength."

Makoto slowly nodded and smiled before replying. "That's good enough for me."

* * *

Meanwhile, S.E.E.S was discussing their latest member in the Command Room.

"He's agreed to help us. With this many members, it might be time to start exploring Tartarus," proposed Mitsuru to the rest of the squad.

"Alright, it's about time," responded Akihiko excitedly.

"Whilst I admire your enthusiasm, I think it'd be best to wait for just a little longer," said Ikutsuki.

"Huh? Why!?"

"I should want to… have more confidence in our new recruit when sending him on a mission with the rest of you," answered Ikutsuki cautiously.

All the members in the room made complicated faces after that remark. Surely, Makoto's recruitment had been slightly unorthodox; and his demands unusually blunt.

"I don't want any special position; just let me work however I want and I'll follow orders as best I can. And take that damn camera out of my room," he had said.

"Seriously, who does he think he is?" Yukari muttered under her breath as she looked at the table; Makoto's evoker was still there: he had refused to take it, insisting that he didn't need it.

Ikutsuki, having rewatched the footage of Janus's summoning several times, conceded that he could leave it; though he was still puzzled by how Makoto could summon a persona on his own: the only explanation was that he'd years of experience doing so, which led to more questions and suspicions about the boy.

"So what exactly will we be waiting for, then?" Akihiko asked; ending the silence that had enshrouded them.

Ikutsuki, brought back out of his ponderings, looked back at the squad. "I want to know about it if he does anything unusual. Yukari, can I ask you to keep an eye on him at school?"

Yukari was appalled at the idea, and it showed on her face, but she held back her objections. "I'll… try to, whenever I can."

Ikutsuki nodded, and then faced Akihiko. "Should he go out late at night again, we'll let you know. See if he's going anywhere in particular during the Dark Hour." Akihiko silently nodded.

"If nothing of note happens with him in a few days, we can lower our guard; understood?"

The squad gave their affirmatives and the meeting was adjourned.

* * *

11/4/2009

Makoto sat silently in the classroom. Keeping his back straight and his hollow gaze towards the board, he allowed the teachers monotonous words to flow freely by him; whatever sound waves hit his eardrums made no impact on him as he sat there. His unfocused eyes rarely moved as he remained confined to his own inner cognitions.

Janus silently observed his lifeless behaviour, until he heard the teacher addressing Makoto.

"Sixty-four," Makoto dully responded, not looking any livelier than he had prior. The teacher gave a short "Good job," and turned back to the board.

Yukari looked worriedly behind her, but had to turn back when she noticed that her staring was going completely unnoticed by the zombie, lest she become miserable herself.

* * *

Makoto was again sitting at the edge of his pier. He had made his way here the very instant the bell's chime resounded throughout those monochrome halls. This was the first time he had brought company with him.

"Thou answeredst that question from memory," the white sphere stated; speaking for the first time in a day. Makoto gave no response: none was needed.

"I would like to know thy feelings, Makoto Yuuki. A human in a situation such as yours is something remarkable."

'This is beginning to sound like a social link,' Makoto bitterly remarked in his head; putting him in a negative mood. "I don't want to talk about the past, or the present."

"Thou wilt not have to. I can see for myself, if thou wilt let me."

Makoto considered this, making no outward response. After some time, he conceded. "Go ahead."

The ball floated towards his head until it was in very close proximity and began to orbit him, a little faster than usual.

Janus made no comment on what he saw, and Makoto didn't ask for one.

* * *

The world was once more bathed in green as Makoto strolled calmly down a street near Iwatodai station. He'd not returned to the dorm; he knew that S.E.E.S were trying to survey him and that Akihiko was no doubt already looking for him. He was confident, however, that he wouldn't be found: Akihiko was searching a part of the city miles from where he was now.

Finding the shop for which he was looking, a small one-room affair that hardly stood out amongst the others along the road, he stopped and turned to face it in front of the door.

"Feels kinda stupid that this is the first thing I'm using you for," Makoto remarked.

"Not at all, a simple task such as this is perfect for the sake of practice; now, relax and do as I have instructed."

Makoto obediently closed his eyes and raised his right arm straight up above him. The white orb swiftly flew into his open hand and erupted into a dazzling flash.

After reopening his eyes, Makoto looked up and saw Janus floating above as he had when he was first summoned. Janus hovered forward and slowly landed before Makoto with a low 'Thump' upon hitting the ground.

Taking a further step forward, Janus wielded his hefty broadsword and thrust it precisely into the side of the door; leaving no obvious marks on the outside.

His job done, Janus's armoured form disappeared, leaving behind a floating white light. Makoto noted that even in this brief time he could feel the effects of summoning Janus on his 'Energy'.

"It useth the same strength as Personae do. In time, thou wilt not notice it at all."

Makoto approached the shop door and pulled it open with little effort. Walking inside, he browsed around and picked what he liked before exiting, now with a small supply of clothes.

"I was expecting something more especially designed for protection," Janus said as Makoto stuffed his loot into his schoolbag.

"Lighter gear is best for avoiding attacks; I don't know why I never questioned having to wear a school uniform at first: they're no good at all for exercise."

* * *

Makoto opened the doors into the dorm loudly and walked in at a quick pace. Mitsuru, who had been waiting in the lounge, stood up and called out to him.

"Yuuki, what have you been doing out at this time!?" she swiftly gave out.

Makoto paid her no attention and continued on his way, his earphones blasting out loud rock music that could be heard from the floor above.

"Yuuki! I'm talking to you!" Mitsuru raised her voice as she started following him up the stairs.

She made a few more attempts, even after Makoto had hurriedly closed and locked his door before she could catch up to him, before letting out a frustrated sigh and retreating to the command room to let Akihiko know of Makoto's return.

Ikutsuki had watched this all unfold with his surveillance cameras; and had it been someone else, he'd've found such antics hilarious; but instead, he just frowned and returned to his desk to think.

* * *

"What will we do? He's now completely out of our control," the goblin-like man angrily let out.

"We can't simply act in reaction to when he makes a mess of things. Henceforth, we will be playing a direct part in the events of his world," responded the masked man plainly.

"… Will that be alright?" asked one of the other two who were present, two young-looking women in blue uniforms.

"Nyarlathotep has been taking indirect action on them for years now. As long as what we do only interferes with his interference, it will be fine."

"But master, such rash actions-"

"Rash? This is the fate of humanity in an entire world we are discussing here, and you say that the necessary actions are rash?"

"I'm saying that we could act indirectly as well," the creature hinted.

"… Of course. In doing so… we won't need Yuuki anymore."

"If the replacement is powerful enough, Master."

"We will make him powerful enough. I will give him all the strength I can."

"Then, direct action won't be needed?" asked one of the women.

"If all goes well. With all these changes, even that puppet isn't certain of what the future holds," answered the Masked Man.

"Who will be the new guest, Master?"

The Masked Man looked at the table before them. Upon it were placed several trump tarot cards: "The Magician", "The High Priestess", "The Empress", "The Emperor", "The Hierophant", "The Lovers", "The Chariot" and "Justice".

"The Emperor," the Masked Man exclaimed. "I'll see him personally; after that, the rest will be up to you until my return."

"Yes, Master," the creature responded as his master disappeared from the Velvet Room.

The room descended into silence as its residents sat and stared at the one remaining card on the table. All they could do was wait for the arrival of their new guest…

* * *

**Short Chapters, because being worth the wait is too mainstream.**

**Don't worry, the next chapter could be ten times the length of this one, for all I know.**

**Also, I'll likely be following a rule whereby I'll not be allowed to have more chapters of this story finished than my other "Persona" fiction; so, if you want me to update this faster, you could try also reviewing my other story to motivate me.**


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